21.01.2009 :: 13:36
yesterday... I felt that my life has been blessed and my prayers heard when, while entering the room, my gaze met with a gaze of fine man in tuxedo standing in my own room. He bowed in front of me to speak to me
"on your command, my lady"
And then my dreams ...I heard them break into pieces, like the fines glass, without any unnecessary noise made. I was surprised by his behavior. I asked him who he was and so he did replied
" from today and till the day death tears us apart I'll be serving you, my lady"
I couldn't speak and I couldn't even think properly. Was he playing with me? I surely didn't want him to be my butler. At all. I wanted more of him.
When he answered to my next question
"I am here to fulfill your every single wish, my lady" I wanted to tell him not to joke around. There's a thing I wanted him to do but was sure...he can't fulfill this one dream of me. And as our conversation continued I learned I was right.
He was not allowed to touch me in any way other than those while performing my demands.
I wish I wasn't that shy then I'd make a move first. I'd touch him in a way he could understand that whenever he's right beside me I can't focus my thoughts on anything except him.
Why is it that when we look for the other half for our whole life, the moment we find it and have it right beside us, we can't reach it even if we pull our hands out for it.
Today...I send him to the flouriest to find the finest roses that would be good enough for a lady like me.
Every time I see his face, tenderly smiling to me, I can't think of him other than him being my lover...
But our love is forbidden. Even if I had enough guts to make him aware of my feelings for him, make him touch me in this one special way.... It would only cause problems for both of us. He would be fired. And our eyes would never meet again...
I pray. I do pray that he isn't a butler at all. I want him to be a prince or a wealthy heir to a stinky fortune, who just got bored with his high life and left his home to try something different. Like a life of a commoner...
But I know this is only a wish off stupid young girl who has fallen in love. For the first time in her life he she has fallen deeply in love. With a man that can never be hers.
For the first time in my life I regret being born in a rich family. It would be easier if we were equal. But then we could never meet...
I don't want him to leave so I'll hold my emotions in my heart so we won't do anything stupid... We will live happily as the butler and his Lady...
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